The Trick Is To Keep Breathing
by Jaqs
Summary: A continuation of that fateful meeting in front of those vending machines in The End. Where do they go from here?
1. Chapter 1

I've been meaning to write something like this for months now, but life keeps getting in the way. It's kinda AU in that I've chosen to ignore the whole afterlife aspect. I think it's much more interesting to look at it as another life and see where things can go from there. Undecided so far if it's just going to be a oneshot or not.

**The Trick Is To Keep Breathing**

"Kiss me James," she choked out through a shaky laugh and they were quite possibly the best three words he'd heard in his life. Well _this_ life at least. What the hell was happening to them? That was a question for later though. Right then he only had one response on his mind.

"You got it, Blondie" He smiled and kissed her like he'd never kissed her before. Maybe he hadn't. If that were true, then why did it feel like the most natural thing in the world? He felt cool hands on his face and instinctively deepened the kiss, hands on the small of her back and pulling her as close to him as possible. He breathed in her familiar scent, even this wasn't enough and he could tell as her hands continued to roam over his skin that she felt the same. Reluctantly, the necessity to breathe forced him to pull away so he settled for holding her close once more, stroking her hair as she wordlessly settled into the crook of his neck. The feel of the silken strands under his fingertips had a soothing effect on him – they always had. He'd thought he'd never get to touch her hair again.

"I got you baby," he murmured again soothingly as she struggled to get her sobs under control. He felt her tighten her grip on him briefly before pulling back to look him in the eye.

"I'm sorry, James. I'm so sorry." He shook his head and reached out to tenderly brush away the remnants of her tears.

"Don't be. You ain't got nothin' to be sorry for." She raised a brow slightly and he could tell she wasn't convinced.

"We both know if I hadn't overreacted to you looking at Kate..."

"That damn island would have found some other way to screw with us, Kate or no Kate." He interrupted with vehemence . "I'm sorry that for even one second I caused ya to think I wouldn'ta

picked you over her." He grabbed her hands to punctuate his words. "It's always you, ya hear me?"

He held his breath as she silently looked deep into his eyes, before sliding her gaze to the side in contemplation. To his relief she nodded, tears welling up in her eyes again as she moved towards him once more and into his arms. He sighed as they clung to each other, in reassurance as much as anything else. For a few moments they were content to just rock gently in the darkness to the hum of the vending machines as they both tried to make sense of what was happening.

Suddenly he felt her stiffen slightly and mumble something unintelligible into his shoulder.

"Huh?" He pulled away to look at her in question. She wouldn't meet his eyes.

"Jack," she repeated in confusion and it was his turn to stiffen as his blood ran cold at the name.

"Sorry ta break it to ya, sweetheart," he drawled, "but he ain't here. Looks like yer stuck with me." His crack was only half in jest. It suddenly dawned on him that it was Jack that had directed him here not ten minutes ago. Now Juliet was wringing her hands and looking anywhere but at him in a manner decidedly unlike her. His mouth went dry as his gaze darted to her hand. It was bare, but still – something wasn't right.

After what felt like an eternity, she visibly composed herself and smiled nervously at him. She cocked her head to the side, indicating the empty waiting room chairs beside them and reached out for his hand.

"Let's sit. I need to tell you something. This is all so... bizarre. Where do we start making sense of it all?" He could only shrug helplessly in response as he mutely followed her lead and took a seat. She still had a firm hold of his hand, lacing her fingers through his as she cradled it tenderly in her lap. He hoped this was a good sign.

"I have a son." James involuntarily sucked in his breath at her revelation. That, he had not been expecting. His poker face must have deserted him, because hers materialised as she looked away. "He's fourteen," she continued softly, her voice barely above a whisper. If he thought he couldn't have been any more surprised at her first admission, the second well and truly proved that to be wrong. He'd immediately assumed she was talking rugrat sized – not a kid on the cusp of adolescence. Jeez the things he'd gotten up to at fourteen hardly bore thinking about! How the hell would he go about winning over a teenager?

He felt her start to withdraw her hand from his and he realised he'd been silent for too long. Tightening his grip, he refused to relinquish his hold and quickly reached out to tenderly tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. Once regaining her focus, he smiled reassuringly.

"You must be so happy," he stated warmly. "This whole... whatever the hell this is, it's crazy but it seems this lifetime has been much kinder in giving us what we've always wanted."

"How so?"

"Well, by some miracle I'm a cop," he grinned, "and you're a mother." He was rewarded with a slow smile that lit up her eyes, the unshed tears that still remained glistened in the half light.

"And now I've met you," she supplied. "Again."

"This time ya didn't even have'ta tazer me." He smirked and bumped his shoulder gently against hers. "I can't wait to meet him. Not if he's anything like his mom." The last was exactly what she had needed to hear and she relaxed fully once more, leaning into his side. "Who I have to say, for the mom of a teenage son, looks smokin' in that dress."

"Stop it," she admonished, her head now resting on his shoulder. He could no longer see her face, but could hear the smile in her voice. "You really want to meet him?"

"Of course I do! He's your son. I like him already. Won't lie, I'm scared shitless at what he'll think of me, but still... I'm sorry if my reaction wasn't all that, took me by surprise is all but I get there eventually."

"I should warn you, he's already hit the teen angst and this will be a hell of a curve ball, so I won't blame you if _like_ is too strong a word at first."

"What's his name?"

"David."

"Good strong name," he nodded. "I approve." She sat back up straight to look at him once more.

"Well that's a relief," she grinned with mild sarcasm, before sobering up once more. "Listen, there's something else I have to tell you. I'm sorry, but the shock of David will be nothing to this._ I'm _in shock. Please don't fly off the handle and remember that it's _you _I love, alright?" She took a deep breath and ran a hand distractedly through her hair. She was nervous once more.

"Well spit it out, Blondie."Another deep breath.

"The father..." she began and his mouth suddenly went dry again. Why hadn't his thoughts gone there? Of course the boy had a dad.

"Are you still with him?" He blurted out. He had to know. Could he handle it if she was?

"No, that's not..." she shook her head and squeezed his hand. "We've been divorced for over three years. That's not an issue, believe me. It's who... look there's no easy way of saying this, and of course you're going to overreact so... It's Jack." She closed her eyes, steeling herself for his reaction.

"Son of a bitch." He slumped back in his chair and the words were out of his mouth before his brain could even engage. He let go of her hand and ran his through his hair as the air left his lungs in one great whoosh.

Jack.

He'd completely forgotten his name had even come up as soon as she had told him about David. Of all the people in this crazy, twisted, screwed up existence. Momentarily oblivious to the fact that she was still in the room, he rose and started pacing in front of the vending machines. He therefore missed her worried expression as she followed his progress. She mentioned divorce so they must have been married. He felt sick. Here he was, somehow having lived two lives and after having to bury her broken body in the last, he finds she was married to Jack of all people in this one. Someone up there sure had a sense of humour.

"James?" Her soft voice roused him from his internal ranting and he turned to face her. Once she had his attention she gave a small helpless shrug. She was obviously struggling with these revelations too. He hated his next words but the masochist in him had to ask, he couldn't get round it.

"Did you love him?" his voice hoarse and barely above a whisper. She gave a rueful grimace and briefly glanced at her hands.

"Of course I did. I'm sorry, but I did," she shrugged once more. "We were married nearly ten years. Met in college, had David." She nodded – affirming herself more so than him it seemed. "I loved him. Does meeting you and knowing what I do now change any of that? No... maybe... I don't know what to think." He sighed and returned to his seat once more. Couldn't fault her for being honest he guessed.

"Why did you split up?" To this he received a wry arched brow.

"He's Jack. His work will always come first, he can't help it. We just drifted apart and it wasn't fair on David to carry on like that. It's been better this way. Some people just aren't meant to be together." Her words an unwitting echo of the ones she used a lifetime ago. He didn't know what to think, but looking at her and knowing what they'd been through, he knew he'd have to find a way past it somehow. Reaching to swing an arm around her shoulders, he leaned and dropped a kiss on her temple to let her know he was more than willing to try. Remaining in this position, lips to skin, they sat in silence for a few minutes, both lost in thought. A nurse passed by them in the hallway, tossing them a puzzled look.

""So you both still work here together?" Juliet moved away from him in surprise at his question.

"How did you...?"

"Realise now I passed him out in the hall. It was him that directed me to these vending machines. I'll have to thank him sometime." She smiled in amusement at this before settling back into his side.

"Who knows if he'll ever recognise you," she mused. "All these years together and we were both oblivious to everything. Yet I touch your hand once... kinda mindblowing."

"So will you _now_ admit that we're meant to be together?" He looked down at her with a grin and she tilted her head so she could look at him with a roll of her eyes.

"Smug bastard," she smirked and closed the distance remaining to kiss him. He groaned slightly and immediately deepened it, clutching at her lab coat to pull her onto his lap. He felt her smile into the kiss and shift her position so she could straddle him. "I can see you're going to be bad for my reputation at this hospital," she murmured against his mouth.

"Absolutely," he responded with slight jerk of his groin to punctuate his intentions and triumphantly eliciting a shiver from her. "Unless you've got an office around here, Doc?" She outright laughed at this, leaning back to regard him with a lust-filled gaze. Before she could reply however, a buzzing noise emanated from within her lab coat and with a sigh she pulled her phone from her pocket. She looked at the screen and frowned.

"Hold that thought, it's David." She punched a button and slid off his knee to stand and take a few steps away whilst she answered it. "Hey sweetheart, how did it go?" Despite his frustration at the interruption, he watched her with admiration as she listened to her son on the other end. He had her back. She was a mother. It was what they had both wanted towards the end of their time with Dharma – he'd finally felt ready and willing to become a father – but fear about what happened to pregnancies and the fact they were stuck in the wrong decade had forced them to hold off. Now here she was chatting on the phone to her teenage son. He shook his head slightly in wonder. "He's not there? I saw him over half an hour ago and he said he was leaving to go get you, that's strange... I can leave now so sit tight and I'll come get you straight away, alright? Proud of you honey." She hung up and turned to face James once more.

"I have to go, Jack never showed up to get him." She shook her head in dismay and punched a number into her phone to make a call. The seconds passed and she eventually hung up once more. "No answer. He's a nightmare at times." She pocketed her phone and flashed him a hopeful smile. "Wanna come?"

A slow grin spread over his face as he nodded and rose with a stretch. He approached her and took her now outstretched hand, squeezing it. Leaning in close, he tenderly kissed her smiling mouth.

"Yeah," he whispered huskily. "I do." She nodded and hand in hand, she led him out to the second chance they had been given.


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for the comments and encouragement to continue. I'm afraid I can make no promises however on how often or how much this will be updated. But here's a little more for now.

**Chapter 2**

They soon found that they barely had time for breath as they hurriedly filled each other in with the cliff notes version of their lives in the fifteen minute drive to the Widmore estate on the outskirts of the city. A quick gasp and shocked glance was shared on the dawning of the significance of their destination as the car entered the grounds, but through necessity was filed under _things to talk about later_. By mutual unspoken agreement they added to that list what happened those last few days on the island, along with what James did after. The bare bones of this life, they had surmised, was this:

His parents had still died but this time his uncle had been successful in keeping him on the straight and narrow and he had become a cop as an outlet for his anger and frustration with the world. He had been hunting for the Original Recipe Sawyer in his own time. Although he had to admit he wasn't entirely sure what he'd do if he actually found the man. He'd glossed over his recent trip to Australia. It had been completely fruitless this time working on a different lead; he hadn't even found the wrong man, but he knew she'd want to revisit it in greater detail at some point. He told her how he was still a loner, albeit to a lesser extent. Miles was his partner for crying out loud! As for women, there had been plenty over the years, but none that he could call a relationship. Their present conversation, he'd confessed, was probably the most he'd ever shared with anybody. Her gaze had left the traffic at that and she flashed him a warm smile which was easily returned.

For her part, she had already shared with him a large facet of her life. Edmund had never been a factor. She now remembered meeting him briefly in college, but by that point she was already with Jack and so he hadn't made any significant impact. Whilst she hadn't missed the years of torment, the realisation dawned that this loss of a connection was probably the reason she had never ventured into research this time around, being content to purely practice instead.

"And your sister?" He asked as she eased the car into a parking space and killed the engine. Juliet bowed her head slightly and closed her eyes as she steeled herself. She wasn't going to cry. She refused to cry. She opened her eyes once more and looked over at his concerned gaze. Her resolve crumbled slightly and she felt her eyes filling up.

"She died nearly four years ago. The cancer was too aggressive and she couldn't fight it."

"Aaaw hell. I'm so sorry. C'mere." He responded gruffly and reached over to pull her into a tight embrace. She gladly sank into his arms and clung to him for the second time that night. She couldn't cry, not when she had to collect David, but she could lose herself in his arms just for a second she thought, as she took a shuddering breath and smelled his ever so familiar scent. This was madness.

"I just miss her _so_ much James," she mumbled into his neck as his hand moved soothingly in circles over her back. "Knowing what I do now... it just all seems so raw and new again."

"I know, baby. I'm here." She pulled back to look at him – really look at him. He was, real and breathing and right here in front of her. The concern in his eyes was comforting as he reached out to gently brush away a few stubborn tears that had escaped.

"I wish you could have met her," she whispered with a rueful smile.

"Yeah, me too. Although I'm sure she would have hated me." He returned with a smile of his own. She laughed slightly and wiped the remnants of moisture from her eyes before appraising him with an arched brow.

"The conman you or the cop?" He snorted and shrugged.

"Both I guess," he replied with a grin.

"You'd have won her over eventually," she argued with a shake of her head.

"Yeah, well unless there's a third reboot on the cards someday, we'll never know."

"True. So how about you come meet my son instead?"

"You sure about this?" He asked, the apprehension evident in his voice.

"Of course I am," she replied distractedly as she scanned the near deserted marquee fifty feet in front of them. Deserted except for two male figures hunched over in their chairs, deep in conversation. "Hold that thought though, you'd better stay here for now."

"Huh?" She turned back to James and tilted her head to indicate what she'd spotted.

"Jack's here after all."

"Oh." She watched as he took in the scene in front of them and could see his eyes darken slightly.

"Let me check out what's happening first," she stated softly. "I don't want Jack to be there when I introduce you. Not if we're going to say you're an old friend from college. I'll come back and get you or bring him over, OK?"

"Sure," he answered somewhat distractedly, still focused ahead.

"James!" she stated more forcefully, demanding his attention to shift back to her, "It'll all work out, I promise." He nodded in agreement and ran a hand through his hair.

"You're right, we'll figure it out, Blondie," he gave a small reassuring smile. "Go," he indicated her door with a toss of his head. She nodded in return and exited the car, pausing to lean back into the doorway.

"Love you."

"Good, cos I love you back, now go. He'll be waiting for you." She turned and nervously approached her son and his father. David looked so handsome in his suit, a proper little grown up. Whatever their conversation was about it looked pretty intense.

"Hey," she called once close enough to gain their attention. She noted with some puzzlement that David looked slightly relieved to see her. Strange. A questioning glance to Jack and he couldn't seem to look her in the eye, he was hiding something. Very strange.

"You made it after all. I tried calling you." she stated softly, trying to keep any censure from her voice. Jack ran a hand nervously over his head.

"Yeah sorry, I got held up on the way over." He offered, the picture of contrition, but then that was Jack all over. In any reality. She couldn't help the bitter thoughts from sneaking into her head it seemed.

"Aunt Claire had her baby and Dad has a new girlfriend."David helpfully interrupted her internal musings on his father's failings with his typical teenage bluntness. Needing a seat, she took one opposite them as she processed this latest information. She had thought nothing else could possibly surprise her after today. She should have known better. Jack had somehow beaten her to the punch. There was now no way she could tell David about James tonight. She tossed a brief worried look back towards her car then plastered a calm smile on her face as she looked back at Jack. First things, first.

"Claire? How is she, how is the baby?" The concern in her voice was all too genuine. This was _Claire._ And Claire was Jack's sister. Holy crap, that was never in his file – at least not her copy. Ben had to have known this.

"They're both fine, a baby boy." Jack supplied fidgeting with his hands. She suspected that could only mean one thing – her and James weren't the only people with a few revelations tonight. She'd bet her house that this new mystery woman was Kate. Well, Jack's poker face might suck, but there was no way she was letting him know that _she_ knew. Not until she'd spoken to James and they'd figured out where the hell they were going with all this. Her poker face came with Others training. "EMTs have just taken her to the hospital. I was going to follow with David if that's alright?" Her gaze shifted to her son.

"Is that what you want to do, Honey? Still want to stay at your Dad's tonight?" David shrugged. His standard response these days.

"Yeah, I guess." She fought against rolling her eyes.

"Ok, that's fine."

"Hey Champ," Jack tossed David his keys, "Why don't you go wait in the car whilst I have a quick word with your mom." David shrugged again and complied. Standing up he leaned over to peck Juliet on the cheek.

"Night Mom. Love you." He mumbled and turned to leave. Juliet's heart swelled at the action. He was still a good kid under the increasingly surly exterior. How did she get so lucky as to have him?

"Love you too. Be good for your Dad and don't forget you have soccer practice tomorrow at ten." She called after his retreating form, receiving a half hearted wave in response. She shifted her attention back to Jack with a sideways glance. "Champ?" She questioned with a smirk. Jack laughed a nervous, short laugh. Oh, he knew alright.

"Yeah, well he's already mad at me for being late. Figured I'd try it out whilst I had nothing to lose." He shrugged, so uncannily like the one witnessed on her son, not a minute earlier. This was so bizarre. She was all to conscious of the eyes on them both, back in her car. She prayed that James wasn't having a coronary, now that she was alone with Jack. She also prayed that Jack wouldn't hazard a glance at her car. Luckily he had his back to it.

"I... ah... hope you don't mind that I told David about..." Jack trailed off, obviously unsure how to classify all his new feelings and memories.

"Your girlfriend?" she ventured softly, taking pity on him. He let out a deep sigh.

"Yeah, I guess," he replied, looking off into the distance with a slight smile on his face.

"You don't sound too convinced?" He returned his gaze to her, fully meeting her eyes for the first time since she arrived. His eyes softened and his smile widened and it was her turn to struggle, trying to reconcile the loving one-time husband and father that she saw before her with the man she had known on the island. He was a good man, deep down she didn't doubt that – but boy was he screwed up. They all were.

"It's just all happened kinda fast, but yeah," he nodded affirmatively, "she means a lot to me." He took her hand, a gesture obviously meant to be comforting, but she wished he hadn't. She froze slightly, worried about James' reaction, but forced herself not to pull away or Jack would suspect something was wrong. Even three years after the divorce, they'd still maintained an easy and comfortable platonic relationship and his action was not an uncommon one.

"I'm sorry you had to find out like this," he continued. She took this as an opportunity to gently squeeze his hand and drop it in favour of running her hand through her hair. She leaned back in her chair to put some space between them and regarded him with a soft smile. If only he knew.

"Don't worry about it Jack, I'm fine. We had to move on someday. It's David I'm more concerned about. How did he take the news?" Jack shook his head.

"It's hard to say. I can't seem to do much right by him these days." The frustration in his voice was evident.

"He's a teenager Jack, and his parents are separated. We both know what the demands of the job are like, but you just have to be there for him more. It'll go a long way, trust me."

"I know, you're right." He agreed as he ran a hand over his head. "How do you make it look so easy?" She laughed lightly at his chagrined expression.

"It isn't Jack, believe me. Being a parent takes a lot of hard work. We've had some doozys recently. I'm surprised his bedroom door is still standing, the force he slams it with. He's fourteen," she shrugged. "He's supposed to hate us. It's our job to ignore it and get on with it." Despite herself she patted his knee reassuringly, before standing up. "What's her name?" She asked, curiosity getting the better of her.

"Kate." Bingo. He rose too and looked down at his feet, kicking slightly at a few blades of grass.

"She's back at my place now. I'd like her to meet him... if that's alright with you?" He looked back up with hopeful eyes. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't apprehensive about the prospect. From what she'd witnessed, Jack and Kate had experienced quite a volatile and unstable relationship. On island she had continually bounced between the two men and who knows what had happened those three years they had spent off island. All that she had gleaned was that at one point they had lived together and were engaged, but were no longer a couple prior to their return. That they've obviously met recently and had similar revelations to she and James was a given, but who's to say that they would find it any easier to stay together now, despite how much they wanted to? She didn't want to expose her son to any more upheaval and the chance that Kate might come and go in Jack's life. She sighed, knowing that she would be a hypocrite however, to refuse to allow David to meet her given how it had been their intention to introduce James to him tonight. How could she voice her reservations, since she wasn't supposed to know any of this?

"He can decide himself if that's what he wants. I don't mind if he does." Jack nodded and started to move in the direction of his car. "Jack." Her voice halted him and he turned back once more in question. "Before you do though, you'd better be sure that this is serious and going to last. I don't want David confused by some fling that's just going to disappear from your life as quick as she came." Jack looked at her quizzically at this and she wondered if she'd said too much. No – she was just being a protective mother.

"Alright, I understand," he acquiesced. "Trust me, I'm sure." He smiled and started taking a few steps backwards. "Soccer at 10am right?" She nodded and smiled in return, relieved that the conversation was over.

"Stay and watch if you can. He'll complain, but really he'll be pleased if you do."

"I will do. G'night Juliet."

"Night." He gave a small salute and turned to leave. She remained rooted to the spot, watching his receding form. She really had loved him once. Now she felt slightly queasy at the conflicting emotions his presence inspired in her. The world really had turned upside down in the space of a few hours. Then she thought of James and turned herself to walk back to her car. She caught his concerned expression as she neared and smiled brightly to try to allay any of his fears. Perhaps upside down was for the better.

"What happened?" He asked as soon as she slid back into the driver's seat, slamming the door behind her.

"Jack got there before us. He's ran into Kate at some point, they know everything and seem to be having their own happily ever after."

"Sonofabitch." He exhaled. "Can't decide if that will make things easier or harder. Does he know that _you_ know?" She shook her head.

"No, I kept that to myself. He looked guilty as sin though, couldn't even look me in the eye most of the time. He had told David about Kate though, so I couldn't mention you – not in the same night. That wouldn't have been fair. Hope you don't mind?" He reached out and took her hand in his.

"Course not sweetheart. Whenever you're ready. I ain't going anywhere."

"You better not, Buster." She smiled then continued, "There's more. Claire was here tonight, heavily pregnant. She went into labour and had Aaron. James, she's Jack's sister!" That one knocked him for six and he rested his head back on the headrest as he took it in.

"She OK?"

"Yeah, Jack's taking David with him to the hospital now, then keeping him for the night. He wants him to meet Kate." Sitting up straight once more, he turned back to look at her.

"You OK with that?" She shrugged.

"Not really, but guess I'll have to be. Especially if I want him to meet you." Pulling on her belt, she turned the keys in the ignition and started the engine.

"Don't know 'bout you, but I need a drink." He mused and she chuckled.

"You know, there is an upside to all this."

"Yeah?"

"Tonight I'm off mother duty. So..." she dropped her voice, adopting a sultry tone with a sly smile. "My place or yours, Detective?" He grinned; his dimples revealing themselves and answered in a similar timbre.

"Oh that_ is_ and upside, Doc. Definitely yours." She nodded and smiled once more, raising their still clasped hands to kiss his knuckles before dropping it in order to take the wheel, easing the car back out into the drive.

"Juliet?"

"Hmm?" she replied, eyes on the darkened road.

"He seems like a good kid."

"Thank you, he is." She breathed, feeling her eyes fill up once more as she reached the main road and turned the car in the direction of home. When did she become such a cry baby? Maybe multiple lifetimes will do that to you, she mused as she willed away the miles back to her house.


End file.
